Butterfly, Fly Away
Being home for so long since my last summer vacation in college, and probably for the first time ever with the entire family, made me look back to the time when I was living away from home.
I love being a part of a joint family. You always have someone around and are never alone. Not in a creepy way. So it was no wonder why I was afraid to travel and live alone. In my then 21 years of life, I had never lived away from my family for over 2 weeks at a stretch. Not only was I going to move to another city or country, but I was also moving continents. Though this continent is not that far away, it is not too close either.
My parents dropped me off at the Delhi airport, and from there I was on my own. Though I did have two more people I was travelling to Sheffield with, but I had just met them, so it still made me feel as if I was on my own for the most part. They did however make the journey so much easier than it would have been if I were solely by myself, and I can never tell them how helpful they were to me that day.
All the years growing up, I hardly had to do any heavy lifting on my own. From my phone recharge to handling my bank balance, all was taken care of by my father. But when I moved to Sheffield, I had to do all of that and more on my own. I remember reaching my accommodation at around 8:30 at night after a day and a half of travelling. I did not have anyone to offer me warm food, a made-up bed, or even a heartfelt smile of comfort.
But as the days went by, I started figuring things out around. I made friends from different countries and belonging to cultures. I learnt my way around the city and I started finding that lost comfort within myself. I would not lie and say it was easy, or that I did not miss a warm hug from my mother, or teasing from my brother. What I would say is that I was not afraid anymore. I was not scared to be on my own, to not have people I grew up with constantly buzzing around me. I had become a little more independent.
Now I was managing my own bank account, looking for accommodations, and buying groceries to cook my own meals. I started working part-time after the submission of my dissertation, and that meant that I was even earning a little. Though the salary was not a huge sum, it was the first time I was working and earning MY money. It was a big deal for me. Working allowed me to connect with even more people than before and I ended up making friends and memories for a lifetime.
A big part of these memories for me has to be my aunt and her husband. I know for a fact that a big part of my feeling at home in a new country was them. I visited them every few months, and they made me feel not just welcomed but filled my heart with love and care every single time. They are one of the things I miss the most after coming back to India.
I had often heard my parents tell both me and my brother, that living away from your family is an experience that everyone should go through at least once in their lives. And I agree. Though my experience was very different than any hosteller’s in India, it still taught me the same basic principles. It taught me how to be self-reliant, how to cook for myself, and how to manage my money among many other things. But most of all, it taught me about who I am.
I found that it is okay to step away from your parent’s shadow, even if it is for a little while, to find your own light. Rather it is something I would suggest everyone try out. You acquire more knowledge about the world while living in it than any book could ever teach you. On top of that, you learn so much more about yourself. Every person you meet, every situation you face, will make you discover a new part of yourself that you had never seen before.
I built a world for myself without any influence from my family or my old friends. I started to find out who I am and built my own relations without any prior biases and attachments. And though I am still on that road to discovery, living away helped me a great deal to break out of my fears and deal with the moment head-on.
For me, Sheffield will always be a place that helped to crack open my cocoon and made me realize that I am strong enough to spread my wings and fly. Find your Sheffield — something, someplace or someone that makes you believe, because it may not be today or tomorrow, but “I promise you there will come a day, Butterfly fly away”.
By: The Lazy Soul
